Is it Too Late To Come Back To God?

A Word to the Disillusioned

The Common Wound

The other day I was on my FB page and I ran across an article that really struck me. The man Andy, a former Christian, Preacher and Pastor wrote of his experience in the Church. As I sat there my heart went out to him of his disillusionment in what he went through.  The idea that he went through his life in an institution that was supposed to make him feel secure and happy but came out the other side hurt, broken and totally disgusted with what claims to be the "bride of Christ" and the only way to heaven is very disturbing to me.

Andy is not alone. Not even close. And I know this because I lived it too.  What Andy found at the end of a lifetime of devotion was not God. It was a system. And when that system failed him — as it fails so many — he had nowhere left to stand. So he let go of everything, including the One the system claimed to represent. I understand that. I do not judge it. But I want to say something to Andy, and to every person reading this who is standing in that same rubble right now:

The institution was never the destination. It was always a detour.

The Long Road Out

The truth is that I am yet another casualty of the same broken system that permeates the entire globe. As a young boy I went to church in a fundamental Apostolic Church. I was taught that if someone is not baptized in Jesus name and filled with the Holy Ghost evidenced by speaking in other tongues then they would go to hell. The standards of the church were very strict — no TV, no jewelry, women do not cut their hair, and so on.

Later, I joined the Navy and went to different United Pentecostal Churches (UPC) through my travels, still believing in the same things. I was very devoted to what I thought to be the only way to heaven. Later, I got married, had two boys, and throughout my journey in the church I began to see cracks and things that did not settle well with me.

I began to notice that all these people who were supposed to be filled with the Holy Ghost were just as mean and nasty and unreliable as people who do not claim any religion. Preachers were caught in scandals, people of the congregations would sneak around doing things that were preached against. Shoot, I was one of them. Yet, I thought this was the right way to go, you know, baptism in Jesus name and receiving the Holy Ghost.

For the most part I wasn't any better than the people I saw in the church. I saw and heard of things like these happen in all of Christianity. I remember that at times I thought if we're supposed to be the saints of the Most-High then why are we no different than people who do not claim religion? I wondered why build these big churches only to have them used 2 times a week. Could that money not be spent to aid the homeless and care for the sick and give back what God has given us?

As I grew older my thoughts and perception became more focused. I studied more and even studied about how the doctrine of the Trinity came to be. The more I studied the more I found out that what many believe to be truth is not what they think it is. The more I studied the more cracks in the foundation I found. But, if an institution like Christianity is supposed to be from God then why all the cracks and inconsistencies? If God is perfect (and He is), why do people who claim to be of His Name not show it?

I know not everyone is one of those who do not look or act the part of what they preach. There are some who are truly sold out and believe and live what they have been taught, but they are few and far between.

The Woman with the Hebrew Books

As I grew older I had my own business and was called out to an elderly lady's home to do some work. She was nice and very kind. I had noticed that she had on her coffee table books about Hebrew and I began talking with her about it. From that conversation it changed my life like I had never thought possible.

She told me that she wanted to be baptized in the name of Yeshua. I told her I knew someone who would baptize her in Jesus name. She told me it was not the same. So, I let the conversation go. Before I left she gave me two books that began to change my life. My journey began and I was not even aware of it. The books were, Come Out of Her My People by C. J. Koster, and the other one was, Fossilized Customs by Lew White. I read the first one cover to cover, and the second one I noticed that both of them were pretty much saying the same things.  When I went to church that following Sunday I told the preacher about the woman that wanted to be baptized in the name of Yeshua.  He very quickly dismissed me, and when I pressed him why he refused, he quickly said, “I’m not going to talk about it.”  He then very quickly walked off.  I knew then something was very wrong.

What I found in those books — I do not agree with all of it — to say the least, I was shocked. The information I read, I couldn't take just their words for it, but I had to do my own research. What I found out was shocking, which is an understatement.

There was one claim in the books that said that Jesus was never called "Jesus" but he was called Yeshua. When I read that I had to pick up my jaw from the floor. I showed this to my wife, who was raised in the UPC, and she was shocked. Her answer for this was: if the name of our "savior" is Yeshua then why do they not baptize in that name?

Talk about snowball effect — that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I dived into research with what little knowledge I had at the time. I wondered, from all the historical facts that I was discovering, why did we never hear about these things when we were going to church? Did they have an agenda? Were they just as blind as their congregations?

I learned that the doctrine in the church that "the Law has been abolished" was not true. It was a non-truth perpetrated by — well, you won't believe this, but centuries ago it was decided by men who wanted to abolish the Torah, because they did not want anything the Jews had or that represented them. But that is another story, and I'm writing a book about it called, The Great Abandonment.

Throughout my studies I learned that the Torah was the very first thing that God gave to mankind. That was until mankind trampled all over it and buried it. Now, because of that, people do not know what truth is and what isn't. Sorry, I do not have any intentions to offend you or anyone.

Another Stop That Did Not Hold

Once I found out that we are called back home to God through His Torah (which many call the Law) I began my deep dive into His Appointed Times (Moedim). Yes, "Appointed Times." What this means is that throughout the year He meets with His people at these "appointments" — which is similar to a doctor's office visit, you go to the doctor. However, this is so much more serious.

What the church did — and this may disturb many — was take pagan holidays like Saturnalia and Brumelia and assimilated those holidays into the church and made claim that it was when Jesus was born. Please look up what Saturnalia and Brumelia was all about. It just might surprise you.

What about Easter? Look that up too, and you will find it has nothing to do with what people believe was the "resurrection." Read about hot cross buns, easter egg hunts, and see what you will find. I encourage you to find out these things yourself.

Once I learned about honoring and respecting the Law/Instructions of the Most-High, we started going to a Messianic church that believes in the Appointed Times but still believes in Jesus and worships him as a god and the messiah. We went there for a while, but the cliff I was on began to crumble again.

I thought about something that is of utmost importance. Think about this — the messiah is to come from the seed of David and Solomon, according to the Scriptures (II Sam. 7:12-14; I Chron. 22:9-10; Ps. 132:11-12). Christianity teaches that Jesus was born of a virgin. However, IF he was born of a virgin then would that not be a problem because that would mean that Jesus bypassed what was prophesied. If He was born from Joseph and Mary then that collapses the entire house of cards that Jesus was born of a virgin. Yes, many will try to argue their Christian parroted belief, but the facts are facts. Don't bother trying to convince me back to Christianity because it will not work. I've done my research.

The Door That Was Always Open

Once I learned this and other things, I was getting scared and I did not know where my journey was going to take me. For me, I am loyal to the Most-High — there is no other God beside Him. All other gods are false. I knew I could not go outside of the Scriptures (Hebrew) because doing so would sever me from my Father (Abba). I could NOT do that! I cannot go out and do my own thing, or find another religion, or go outside like Buddhism, Wicca, Witchcraft or secularism. Those institutions, religions do not have, nor have they ever appealed to me.  Therefore, what was I to do? Look at these verses in the TaNaKh:

O YHWH, my Strength and my Fortress in a day of distress, to You the Gentiles, shall come from the ends of the earth and say, "Nevertheless, a lie, our fathers  inherited vanity,  and nothing in them is of profit."  — Jeremiah 16:19

Thus says YHVH of hosts, "In those days ten men from all the languages, which they shall seize upon;  the Gentiles shall seize upon the extremity of the Jewish man, to say, 'Walk with us, because we have heard that (‘Elohiym) God is with you.'"

— Zechariah 8:23

Thus saith the LORD, Keep ye judgment, and do justice: for My salvation is near to come, and My righteousness to be revealed. Blessed is the man that doeth this, and the son of man that layeth hold on it on it; that keepeth the Sabbath from polluting it, and keepeth his hand from doing any evil.  Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the LORD, speak, saying, The LORD hath utterly separated me from his people... For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my Sabbaths, and choose the things that please Me, and take hold of My Covenant; even unto them will I give in Mine house and within My walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off. Also the sons of the stranger, that join themselves to the LORD, to serve Him, and to love the Name of the LORD, to be his servants, every one that keepeth the Sabbath from polluting it, and taketh hold of My Covenant; Even them will I bring to My Holy Mountain, and make them joyful in My House of Prayer... for Mine house shall be called an House of Prayer for all people. The Lord GOD which gathereth the outcasts of Israel saith, Yet will I gather others to Him,  beside those that are gathered unto Him. 

— Isaiah 56:1-8

Something that is interesting to note is that these Scriptures from Jeremiah, Isaiah, and Zechariah say nothing about Christianity, nothing about accepting Jesus as lord and savior.  They say that the Gentiles (we) will come to Him and say our ancestors, have inherited lies, and vanity and given things of no profit.  If Christianity is the correct religion then why would it say this?  He did not say that of the Torah and how the Jewish people lived.  Why?

Zechariah says that ten men in that day (which has not happened yet), will grab onto the extremities of the Jew and say, “Take us with you, because we have God is with you.”  Why?  Why would it say this that these men will say this to the Jew.  Why not Christianity?  If it is true and the accepting the claims of Christianity is the right way to go, then why does it not say, “Ten men will grab hold of the Christian and say take us with you for we heard that God is with you?”  Could it be that the Law of the Most-High was never abolished?  Something to think about.

Finally, Isaiah states that the “son of the stranger.”  What does that mean?  It’s not talking about the Jew.  What it is talking about is people other than the Jews could come and join themselves to YHWH.  Notice in the scriptures it telling us that those who join themselves Him honor the Sabbath (Friday night at sundown till Saturday night at sundown).  They who please Him and who embrace His Covenant and honor and respect His Torah (Instructions) will be the people He is talking about.

One thing I have always noticed when I was in Christianity is that everything that everyone believes has to be explained. Contradictions? Things that do not agree with the TaNaKh? All sorts of things that people cannot understand or see — it takes a preacher to explain it away. Isn't the Word of the Most-High written so that a fifth grader can read and understand it? It says, do My Torah and live, don't do it and die. Simple!

So, Here I Am

So, here I am many years later — walked away from Christianity, but NOT from God. Yes, you too can walk away from Christianity and actually find peace and walk with God in His ways, and not some institution that tells you what to believe and do.

To wrap this up: when I was in the church, my life, I could hardly say, was not much different than people who live in no religion. But since I am astutely aware of my respect and honor for God (YHWH), my life has changed so much more for the better. My wife tells me that she wishes I was like this our whole marriage. But, I suppose that the last years of my life on this planet as a nice and decent person and husband is better than none at all.

And to Andy — if you ever read this — I want you to know that I understand the wound. I understand standing in the wreckage of a lifetime of devotion to something that turned out to be built on sand. I understand looking around at the people who claimed to carry the Name of the Most-High and seeing nothing but contradiction and hypocrisy. I understand the vertigo of not knowing where to stand anymore.

But Andy, the failure was never His. It was theirs — and ours. The institutions of men are not the same as the instructions of God. They never were.

There is an Ancient Path. It was there before the church was built, before the creeds were written, before the councils decided what you were and were not allowed to believe. It was there when He spoke it to His people from the fire of the mountain. It is still there. And it is still calling.

If anyone is reading this and is disillusioned by church, don't give up on YHWH! Give up on the Church, and start walking on the Ancient Path where I walk and many great people from the Scriptures like David, Abraham, Elijah walked — and together we can walk to please Him and make Him happy.

You are not alone.

You are not crazy.

You are not abandoned.

You are being called home.

I realized something simple and profound: Torah is not a religion. Torah is a Way of Life, a Standard of Living. Religion demands blind acceptance. Torah invites questions, understanding, obedience, and relationship.

And yes — it is absolutely fine to question your beliefs.

No one buys a house without inspecting it.

No one buys a car sight unseen.

No one marries a person they haven’t truly gotten to know.

So why do people accept religion without examining it?

Just know this:

You are not being rebellious by questioning your religion.

It is alright for you to wonder about things that seem, “not quite right.”

It is ok if you question everything.

As Blood is To the Body ~ So Too is Torah To the Soul

Website: www.walkingtheancientpath.org

Email: rex@walkingtheancientpath.com